How Close Are You To Living The Life That Truly Excites you?
Find Out In Less Than 2 Minutes!
Can you remember your childhood’s idea of your future - job, life, family wishes? Do you remember what career you dreamed of having when you were a kid?
When I was about 10, our teacher asked us to write an essay "When I am a grown up, I want to be ….“ As we were not as witty as John Lennon at that age, we only looked at one aspect of life: all of us came up with our idea of the ideal job. I don't think any girl wrote she wanted to become a princess, however almost every other common job title was elaborated on.
Pilote, nurse, policeman, firework and alike. CEO at this age and time didn’t seem to be an inspiring idea for any of us.
For the first 20 min I was sitting around - I had no clue what job I would like to execute. My father was a journalist and writer, however I felt these are not the footsteps I like to take. My mother's side was for three generations running an established bakery, and from time to time I helped there, serving customers. That I enjoyed. But besides the delicious bread and cakes, it didn’t seem to me what I would like to do for longer than a few hours.
I started to read what my friends to the left and right were writing, and it didn’t inspire me very much either. Finally, I decided to take on the idea of my direct neighbor, writing about his future life as a policeman. One passage of what my neighbor wrote inspired me, so I copied it almost verbatim into my text. Which a few days later our teacher felt the need to expose to the whole class. To clarify, I took the blame, and my work was disqualified.
Maybe this was the day I decided not to copy anyone. Later in life, in some weird management training seminars when asked who I would like to be, I usually answer with "The one I am“.
Today's kids probably would write their dream to become Christiano Ronaldo or Beyoncé. (Note: a quick google search lead to this article https://www.thebalance.com/top-kids-dream-jobs-2062280 - Astronaut, Musician, Actor and Dancer leading the list; which brings up the question of how to align our schooling system to these desire? Next: Teacher - interesting; no one I knew in my school would like to follow the path to become a teacher or the Pope. The good old fire-fighter and policeman still on that list, followed by a writer - interesting indeed; there is hope for us!)
After finishing my schooling, I still had no idea what to do next. A family friend and mentor organized a trainee position in a corporate. Followed by career steps by meeting on my path various people with interesting concepts, which sometimes I decided to I became part of for some time. Not to bother with details - mostly I chose to do what others suggested to do. Most importantly however - it had to resonate with me; I was open to listen to other people’s ideas and advice, however I did not desire following blindly a manipulative or forceful push. I needed to see a growth process for myself, I needed to feel inspired to do that for at least a while.
In my late 30’s I had my first coaching session. My coach’s first question: “What would you like to find out?” My answer: “I’d like to find out what I would like to find out.” I had no clue and lost my complete orientation what I really would like to do. Yes, I followed what resonated with me. Yes, I always did jobs I liked and that inspired me, and did this for the purpose of making good money and running my own businesses, sooner or later (which I did). Yes, I always developed my own style in what I did.
But no, I never investigated what I really wanted to do. From time to time, a vision popped up, and I wrote concepts, solutions to the world’s problems and alike. Some I implemented, most not. The much later developed module of alignment with meaning, belonging and purpose I am coaching today was yet undiscovered.
Similar was true for other aspects of my life. Sure, I wanted to be happy, healthy, wealthy, loved, important, I wanted to leave behind a legacy
But how do we actually define happiness? What’s your definition of wealth? Of success? What would be a legacy to be proud of? But before we get lost in reflections: The more I listened to other clients' and friends' definitions, the more I realized that these life goals are self-centered, and based on ego. Leaving a legacy - why? Don't you feel respected, worthy and of value without?
FREE QUIZ: How Close Are You To Living The Life That Truly Excites You? Check Out Now
FREE QUIZ: How Close Are You To Living The Life That Truly Excites You?
Every one of us has a different definition of the above. To define what these terms, for example what happiness or your dream job means to you, is an important step to live it and achieve it. There is no clarity of focus without understanding the specific intention, without understanding what actually bothers you in your current situation. You just want to have another job? No matter the company or position: same job, same experiences, as the intention of what you really want is not clear.
Another important point is to understand that in no way you need to understand the end goal. The more you learn, observe and experience, the more you will get clear of what you don’t want. Which helps you to get clear on your focus and to define what you actually really want. If for example it bothers you to live with your parents still, you shouldn’t feel angry about that (as you are focusing upon what you don’t want, and therefore manifesting more of it); but rather acknowledge the aim to stay in your own place.
The steps to get to your true destiny is in finding and taking steps, one after the other. You need to define what I call sweet-spot-goals (not sweat-spot goals :) . A goal that you set for yourself has to be big enough to excite you, but small enough to believe in. You might have a dream to live in a mansion, however if you don’t have the finances yet and are still living with your parents that might be an exciting idea - but to what extent do you believe that to be the next logical step for you? Living in the streets though might not excite you. Therefore you need to feel your way into the set spot - what feels exciting but still is believable for you; maybe in this example to move together with a friend or to get you first tiny bachelor apartment.
You can look at all aspects of life, or just pick one after the other. Find out what bothers you, and focus on what would excite you instead. Align step by step meaning, belonging and purpose in one aspect of life after the other. Do this often - what might excite you today is history tomorrow. Move from sweet spot to sweet spot. And never stop growing and expanding.
PS: My own coach recently started with 72 maybe the largest project of her life. And a dear friend of mine just arrived after 2 ½ years, traveling in her 86 year old car (Hudson, 1930) around the world, back in Berlin; she’s turning 80 in June.
Never stop dreaming. But the excitement is in the doing.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Jay currently lives in Cape Town, South Africa. A place he calls home. Jay’s expertise is to support and guide inspired individuals to transition from a profit oriented business career to a purpose driven business career and fulfilled life. He recently started MasterStories.com, a platform on which individuals can share and process their personal story. Most excited however he is about starting The Bridge with his nephew Henri, who currently resides in Prague - two generations, inhabiting completely different parts of the world, coming together for the mutual intention of uplifting three and more generations! - Check out Jay and Henri's FREE QUIZ "How close are you to living the life that truly excites you?"